National Infertility Awareness Week

Well, its finally here. Today kicks off National Infertility Awareness Week. This week is very important to me. This years theme is "Don't Ignore Infertility". Honestly? This is why I came forward about our infertility and why I created this blog and the series of posts. Here's the thing, infertility is silent and affects 1 in 8 people and many who have it are silent. Many people on the "other side" ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable. So we have to learn to embrace it and be open about it. By opening up about it, we can start pushing for things we need, like coverage for treatments and acceptance by the public. We deserve to be heard, we deserve acceptance.We are coming forward to tell everyone that we will not be ignored! Don't ignore infertility because if its not you, chances are it's someone you know.

Sure its great to have a week dedicated to infertility awareness, but at the end of the day, I can't ignore infertility. It's part of who I am. It's part of who we are as a couple. Many of my favorite bloggers are coming forward and sharing their stories and helping to raise awareness and one of them, Melissa Ford at Stirrup Queens, wrote a post titled "Every Week Is Infertility Awareness Week". Mel writing generally leaves me speechless but one part of her post truly rang out to me. She wrote:

Every week is Infertility Awareness Week in my world.  I don’t have weeks where I’m not aware of infertility; where it fades into the background.  It is still something that I think about on a weekly (if not daily) basis.  Maybe I’ll feel differently down the road and will be grateful for this yearly kick in the ass to talk about infertility.  But right now, it’s still the lens through which I see the world.  It is so present that it is like a third person at our table having coffee with us.

 
And what she says in true. My life is forever changed by our infertility. Infertility is not my entire life, but it has changed how I live my life and how I see things. I have known true jealousy, anger, pain and fear because of infertility. I have watched as others breeze through the child bearing years popping out children with ease while I visit doctors and track cycles and have timed intercourse in hopes of it helping us. I worry about money like everyone else, but on top of bills and rent and living expenses, I am left with the stress of finding money to put aside for one shot at a very costly treatment in hopes of one day getting to be a mom. I see the world in ways that most would never consider, I watch moms give up their children because they simply can't do it anymore while I watch friends and blogging friends and strangers who struggle with infertility go years and use all the money they have and more that they don't on treatments. You've had sleepless nights because your child won't sleep, I've had sleepless nights scared to death that I will never get the other kind of sleepless nights that mothers and fathers complain about all the time.

I have been through approximately 40 cycles since we started trying to conceive. What does that mean? That's 40 times a pregnancy test has told me no when all I wished for was a yes. That's 40 attempts at trying to be parents. That's 40 tries before doctors and specialists would listen to us and start taking the first steps. And this is just the start. It's 40 cycles of watching those around me get pregnant tell me that I was next, and have already given birth or are about to or are preparing to lap me for the 2nd time. 40 cycles of waiting. 40 cycles of people telling me to just relax and it will happen when its meant to or maybe its just not meant to be, or maybe I should just adopt. It's 40 cycles of people asking us why we are in such a rush, enjoy our freedom or "Hey, do you want one of mine?". It's also 40 times that I've cried in bathrooms (and not just my own bathroom) or in the arms of good friends because I can't understand why. The worst part? I'm not alone.

So this week, I'm getting out there, I'm sharing our stories. Regardless of how uncomfortable I make you, I will do everything I can to raise awareness because I will be ignored no longer. My friends and loved ones who suffer do not deserve to be ignored. We will fight for acceptance and for proper care. We will fight for insurance coverage. My goal this week is to share a post everyday about infertility. I want to make a difference, I want to help you understand. Each day I will tackle something different. I want to tackle the topics of resources, humor, why infertility is such a taboo subject. Stick around and read. Give your thoughts. Email me questions. No question is a stupid question, knowledge is power and if you ask me a question I will use it in my final post of the week. Help me get the information out there, help me by being an advocate because if you don't suffer from infertility, by reading this post, you just met someone who is.