The Truth About Trying Campaign

A couple of months ago, I was lucky enough to take part in a campaign talking about infertility. Redbook Magazine started a joint project with Resolve: The National Infertility Association about real people telling their infertility stories and they called it the Truth About Trying Campaign. Regular people and celebrities dealing with infertility shared their stories via short video segments. The project was open to anyone who wished to upload their story. As part of their campaign, they also had a live twitter chat which I was able to take part in. The live chat was an amazing experience. It is one of the first times since our diagnosis that I truly felt accepted and like I wasn't in this fight alone.

Many of us struggling with infertility have a hard time talking about our struggles because the general public is so uncomfortable talking about it. So for the first time we talked about it publicly in a public forum. It was wonderful to share our fears and joys and stories with each other. We were able to share these thoughts with our fellow twitter friends and they got a view of our struggle where we weren't whining or pouting but rather, just sharing. It was one of the most enjoyable moments where we were led in a discussion and we just talked and shared. People who openly admitted their fears were coming out to us and their own family and friends because they had the support from the rest of us. For many, this is the first time they were able to feel any sort of support.

So why am I bringing up a campaign from October 2011? For two simple reasons: 1. It's National Infertility Awareness Week and we need to promote talking about infertility. & 2. Rebook is back for round 2 of the campaign!

This Thursday during National Infertility Awareness Week, Redbook Magazine is working with Resolve: The National Infertility Association and one of my favorite bloggers, Keiko Zoll from The Infertility Voice to promote the Truth About Trying. This time, they are taking the live chat from Twitter to Facebook and starting at 1pm on Thursday, we will be chatting live about the Truth About Trying. We welcome everyone to join us for round two for this wonderful cause. Help us raise awareness for infertility. Help us by showing support for your friends and family struggling with infertility. Show support for the strangers who want to come out about their struggles.

Help us share the Truth About Trying. And as always, and comments or questions, ask away and I will address them in my final post on the 28th.

National Infertility Awareness Week

Well, its finally here. Today kicks off National Infertility Awareness Week. This week is very important to me. This years theme is "Don't Ignore Infertility". Honestly? This is why I came forward about our infertility and why I created this blog and the series of posts. Here's the thing, infertility is silent and affects 1 in 8 people and many who have it are silent. Many people on the "other side" ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable. So we have to learn to embrace it and be open about it. By opening up about it, we can start pushing for things we need, like coverage for treatments and acceptance by the public. We deserve to be heard, we deserve acceptance.We are coming forward to tell everyone that we will not be ignored! Don't ignore infertility because if its not you, chances are it's someone you know.

Sure its great to have a week dedicated to infertility awareness, but at the end of the day, I can't ignore infertility. It's part of who I am. It's part of who we are as a couple. Many of my favorite bloggers are coming forward and sharing their stories and helping to raise awareness and one of them, Melissa Ford at Stirrup Queens, wrote a post titled "Every Week Is Infertility Awareness Week". Mel writing generally leaves me speechless but one part of her post truly rang out to me. She wrote:

Every week is Infertility Awareness Week in my world.  I don’t have weeks where I’m not aware of infertility; where it fades into the background.  It is still something that I think about on a weekly (if not daily) basis.  Maybe I’ll feel differently down the road and will be grateful for this yearly kick in the ass to talk about infertility.  But right now, it’s still the lens through which I see the world.  It is so present that it is like a third person at our table having coffee with us.

 
And what she says in true. My life is forever changed by our infertility. Infertility is not my entire life, but it has changed how I live my life and how I see things. I have known true jealousy, anger, pain and fear because of infertility. I have watched as others breeze through the child bearing years popping out children with ease while I visit doctors and track cycles and have timed intercourse in hopes of it helping us. I worry about money like everyone else, but on top of bills and rent and living expenses, I am left with the stress of finding money to put aside for one shot at a very costly treatment in hopes of one day getting to be a mom. I see the world in ways that most would never consider, I watch moms give up their children because they simply can't do it anymore while I watch friends and blogging friends and strangers who struggle with infertility go years and use all the money they have and more that they don't on treatments. You've had sleepless nights because your child won't sleep, I've had sleepless nights scared to death that I will never get the other kind of sleepless nights that mothers and fathers complain about all the time.

I have been through approximately 40 cycles since we started trying to conceive. What does that mean? That's 40 times a pregnancy test has told me no when all I wished for was a yes. That's 40 attempts at trying to be parents. That's 40 tries before doctors and specialists would listen to us and start taking the first steps. And this is just the start. It's 40 cycles of watching those around me get pregnant tell me that I was next, and have already given birth or are about to or are preparing to lap me for the 2nd time. 40 cycles of waiting. 40 cycles of people telling me to just relax and it will happen when its meant to or maybe its just not meant to be, or maybe I should just adopt. It's 40 cycles of people asking us why we are in such a rush, enjoy our freedom or "Hey, do you want one of mine?". It's also 40 times that I've cried in bathrooms (and not just my own bathroom) or in the arms of good friends because I can't understand why. The worst part? I'm not alone.

So this week, I'm getting out there, I'm sharing our stories. Regardless of how uncomfortable I make you, I will do everything I can to raise awareness because I will be ignored no longer. My friends and loved ones who suffer do not deserve to be ignored. We will fight for acceptance and for proper care. We will fight for insurance coverage. My goal this week is to share a post everyday about infertility. I want to make a difference, I want to help you understand. Each day I will tackle something different. I want to tackle the topics of resources, humor, why infertility is such a taboo subject. Stick around and read. Give your thoughts. Email me questions. No question is a stupid question, knowledge is power and if you ask me a question I will use it in my final post of the week. Help me get the information out there, help me by being an advocate because if you don't suffer from infertility, by reading this post, you just met someone who is.

Infertility In Pop Culture

Infertility can sometimes be a little overpowering, so to match the beautiful day that we are blessed with today, I decided to go with a lighter sub-topic and have a little bit of fun. Cause even if we are dealing with something that is depressing and exhausting, it doesn't mean that we can't also be lighthearted and fun!

Everyone loves when they find a show/movie/book that shows their struggles in a realistic way. It's not the struggle so much as the relating to something in popular culture. By seeing it publicly acknowledged, it makes you feel less alone and more "normal". This is no different for those that deal with infertility. When it comes to infertility many feel uncomfortable talking about it or having it shown to them. We openly talk about our reproductive organs when there is a pregnancy to announce, but many will feel uncomfortable when someone mentions that their reproductive organs are not working.

Lately, there has been a growing number of movies, books and TV shows showing infertility and infertility related topics. Some cover infertility regularly, some just have a couple of episodes or part of a movie or book that will touch on it. They are showing infertility as a disease or as a lifestyle option (ie: LGBT).  Today, I want to share some of my favorites with you. Shows, movies or books about infertility that I can relate to or enjoy regardless of their topics of infertility. If you know of any that I missed that you think I or others would enjoy, PLEASE SHARE!

TV:

How I Met Your Mother:  In season seven, they aired an episode where Robin finds out that she is not able to have children. She is the narrator of the episode and she is telling the story to her children. She finds out through a pregnancy scare that she will never be able to get pregnant and it shows the emotional side of coming to terms with her diagnosis. At the end of the episode while still narrating to her "children" she states, "Why am I telling you this? Because you don't exist" and the picture of the kids dissolve to show her sitting alone on a park bench in the snow drinking eggnog and mourning her diagnosis. Robin always stated that she never wanted to be a mother so she is surprised by the emotions she is facing with the diagnosis. She comes home to her friend Ted trying to cheer her up even though he doesn't know the reason why she is so upset. She decided to not tell her friends about her infertility because she knows how they will deal with it and she can't deal with that.I truly appreciated the approach that the show took to share this sensitive topic.

Season six showed Lily and Marshall trying to conceive. It showed the worries of not getting pregnant right away and even went so far as to show Marshall getting checked out by a specialist.The season finale of season six, Lily and Marshall find out that they are pregnant, but they do touch on the feelings and worries that come with a pregnancy not happening in the time frame you expect and it shows you the first steps someone goes through when they make the move to get checked out.

Smash, Modern Family, Sex and the City: All 3 shows deal with international adoption.  Modern family deals with a gay couple adopting internationally while the other two turn to international adoption after trouble conceiving naturally.

The Little Couple:  They are publicly showing the process of surrogacy with their own embryos. They are also looking into adoption and are showing some of their home studies. If they do not succeed in surrogacy, they plan to adoption a child with special needs (they are favoring adopting a child who deals with dwarfism.)

Golden Girls:  Blanche's daughter is single and chooses to be a single mom by using donor sperm.Blache has issues with this at first but later comes around to the fact that her daughter will have a baby, with or without a father.

Full Metal Alchemist:Brotherhood: Ed and Al’s teacher has a stillbirth child and due to complications after the stillbirth including a storyline of trying to bring the child back to life, she is no longer able to have children. Shows the couple living childfree and the pain of living childfree when childfree is not a choice but the only option.

Movies:

Up:  I still sob when I watch the opening scenes of this movie. During the montage of their life together, Carl and Ellie get pregnant, lose the child via miscarriage and are unable to have anymore children. It is implied that they will never be able to have children so they live childfree.

Men With Brooms: One of my favorite Canadian movies. One of the curlers deal with low sperm count and the movie actually shows them talking with a fertility specialist about donor sperm. While it is not the most accurate depiction of male infertility, it still raises awareness.

Twister: Dr. Melissa Reeves, aka the fiancé, is an infertility therapist.

Julie/Julia: Tells the story of Julia Child and her husband and how when they find out that they cannot have children, she pursues her love of food and cooking and trains in the culinary arts and masters french cooking.

Fictional Books:

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult: A fairly accurate depiction of IVF, treatments and the prep for treatments. It also covers a late term miscarriage, poor sperm quality, repeat pregnancy loss, donor eggs, egg adoption, gay rights and embryo rights. 

This is just a small sampling of infertility in the media. In many cases, I stumbled across it and was surprised to see the topic or had previous contact to them and only realized when watching after our diagnosis that it was there (for instance, Twister). In other situations, I actively sought out the media (the book was suggested to me within the community).

So we went with a lighter feeling with today's post. As always, I encourage communication with me and others about infertility and welcome all comments and thoughts. As a side note, if there is anything that you would like to share with me or others during NIAW, please leave your thoughts. If you would like to see a particular theme in a post or a topic that you would like me to tackle, please let me know. I'm also asking that if you have any specific questions, either about us and our specific diagnosis or just infertility in general, you can comment or message me privately on facebook and I will gather all the questions together at the end of the week and use that as my final post on the last day of NIAW. Please share with your friends and family and help us raise awareness for the 1 in 8 that suffer.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read about infertility. 

The "Mean-Wells"

Many of my friends have asked me over the years how they should approach the topic of infertility with someone who is infertile. I honestly don’t have an answer because for everyone who suffers, it’s different. And even for me, every day is a new day and I don’t know what my trigger will be or if I will even have a trigger. I have no control when it hits me. I wish I did because I would rather be at home in the arms of my husband when it does hit. It's embarassing when it hits in a public setting. And even in a situation where I am public about our struggles, I still find it hard to speak up to those around me when they do something they aren't aware of or I get hit with a trigger. We know what pain we go through daily, but we don't want to show that pain. We still feel the need to hide it, we don't want people to feel badly for us or think we are crazy. Some suffer in silence, some are open about it. But one thing I’ve noticed is that many people are hurtful and they don’t even know it and they truly had no intention to be hurtful. So to try and stop the cycle, I'm going to share some of this with you all. For the men and women who don't have the courage to speak up or speak out about it. Many in the infertility blogging community refer to them as the “mean-wells”. Mean-wells are things that people say when they truly have the best of intentions and don’t know what to say, so either to break the silence or get rid of an awkward moment people throw out these phrases.

I gotta say, I have been found guilty of these at some point or another so please know that this is not me preaching at you saying you are all wrong or place blame, it’s quite the opposite, I’m just making everyone aware. These posts are all about AWARENESS, not blame.  When in doubt and you want to say something a simple, “I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?” can go a lot further than some of these. When I share these, my intention is never to get you to walk on eggshells around others, but just to be considerate of others and to help you understand why your friend may have freaked out or went suddenly silent  randomly, started crying for no reason or walked away from you mid conversation.




"Just relax and it will happen."

You may think that this is helpful but in many cases, your level of relaxation has nothing to do with your infertility. To the man with a low sperm count or the woman with no eggs left, relaxation will do nothing to help them. Unless you know the intricate details of a person’s infertility, don’t assume.( It’s like going to a cancer patient, not knowing what type or level of cancer they have and saying, ah don’t worry, chemo will fix that.) And speaking from experience, I can send my hubby’s man parts on a week-long meditation and relaxation vacation and when they come back, they will work the same way. It will not magically fix our infertility. And sure, for some people, they do just need to stop thinking about it and relax, but for the majority who have struggled for more than a year or two, there are other underlying causes to the infertility that cannot be fixed without the help of fertility clinics or a qualified Reproductive Endocrinologists.

 
"Maybe you weren’t meant to have kids."

While you may mean well with this statement, it can be one of the most hurtful statements you can ever make to a couple struggling to get pregnant. It’s like looking at a person with glasses and saying, “you have bad eyesight, maybe you were just meant to be blind.” Couples dealing with infertility mostly deal silently and want nothing more than to have children. Saying that they maybe weren’t meant to be a parent is playing on someone's mind who is already severely blaming themselves internally for their lack of fertility. Do you know how many times I’ve sat there and wondered if my lack of prayer or belief in a higher power is causing our infertility? Or whether the food I ate is causing my infertility or some higher power thinks that I don’t deserve a child? I have analyzed  and over analyzed every single aspect of my life and hubby’s life to find something, ANYTHING, that I can blame it on or fix in hopes of getting pregnant. Trust me when I say that no matter what you say to us, nothing you think or say is more harmful than what we think to ourselves over and over again. Sure, we blame ourselves every single day in some way, shape or form for our infertility, but you confirming those thoughts suddenly make all the crazy thoughts true in our minds and it makes it so much worse.



"Why don’t you just adopt?"

This generally pops up when you mention that you are having trouble conceiving or if you announce that you are going through with treatments. In some instances, it is fine. I have had people ask me casually in discussion “Have you considered adoption?” and have honestly answered. But this really does come down to the delivery of the question and the reason it was asked. My husband was adopted. I love adoption because it brought me to my husband and if he wasn't adopted by Debbie and Joe, I may have never crossed paths with him and fallen in love. I hope to one day be able to adopt a child, but this question, in this form, makes me see red. Especially in the context of, "I just don't understand why you just don't adopt already..."This is a very personal decision for someone to make. Adoption is not easy nor is it cheap. In many cases, expensive infertility treatments are less expensive than adoption.  While I see the pluses to adoption (my husband had an amazing life and amazing parents who adopted him), it’s a difficult and very personal decision to make. Then if you do come to the decision, it can take a year or more to just complete all the required steps to be approved for adoption. (If someone is looking at international adoption, the paperwork process can take 2 years before you move onto the next step and by the end, can cost you upwards of 50 grand from beginning to end.) Lawyer fees, home studies, and courses are required just to process your application. Someone comes into your home and assesses you to determine if you are qualified enough to be a parent. This is very difficult for many to go through. People always wonder if they are a good parent, but how about being judged if you would be a good parent before you even get the chance to be one and by someone who views you in a small sampling of time. And then that decision is left in the hands of social workers and the government. Then if you pass that, you go on a wait list for a child. For some, this is an option. For others, it’s not. It’s not as easy as “oh, government, I want a child!” and the government coming back saying, “hi Kim and Chris! You want a child? Here you go!”  I always use the fruit analogy when trying to explain it to someone who has no knowledge of this. Say that you really want an apple, but you're mildly allergic to it but if you take an allergy shot you can have it. But instead of that apple you really want, everyone just tells you to have an orange instead, because they are all fruit, right? So why should it matter what fruit you have?  And sure, maybe the orange is good and you aren’t against it and maybe another day you would want or crave an orange, but you really wanna try to have that apple first cause it’s all you want, you’ve been craving it all day.  You know how yummy that apple is going to be. You know how juicy it’s going to be. Or maybe you just never had a liking for oranges. You have nothing against it, but it’s just not for you. So you go with the apple because you gotta try, right? Yes it’s a bad example because we are comparing apples and oranges to kids but it helps some people understand the thought process of a biological child vs. adoption.

"At least you know that you can get pregnant."

Repeat pregnancy loss is as much a part of infertility as any of the other causes of infertility. The chances of miscarrying your child is 1 in 3 in the first trimester (the first trimester is the first 12 weeks of pregnancy) and that is why so many people wait until they hit 12 week milestone before announcing as your chances of miscarrying drop dramatically after the first trimester. For many women, they have issues (known or unknown) that cause repeated miscarriages and some of these can happen in the second or third trimester. A miscarriage is very painful for any woman or couple. Many feel that this is a private issue to deal with but for those that do find the courage to speak out about the losses sometimes fall on deaf ears, others either do not wish to talk about the loss or throw this mean-well out there. This phrase is hurtful to a mother who has recently lost their unborn child. Unlike other deaths that we experience in life, there is rarely a service, a burial or a mourning period and if one mourns longer than the public in general thinks they should, they are not given the same consideration if it was a parent or grandparent who passed. At the end of the day, the loss is still a loss. You found out that you were growing life in you and now that is no longer there and you have to process it on top of going through the process of a D & C or in some cases in late term miscarriages or stillbirth, the mother actually goes into labor and gives birth to their dead child. Miscarriage is not something that can be brushed off and should be treated in a manner similar to other deaths in life. Consider the situation before you try to use this on people who miscarry once or even repeatedly.


"You should have started trying to have kids when you were younger."

This one really bugs me and tends to be the excuse or mean well that the general public fires out on message boards or group discussions when infertility is profiled by the media. Sure, there are a small number of people who did not bother starting to try until well into their 40’s, but in many cases, age has nothing to do with this. I’m 29 years old and we just hit our 3 year anniversary since we started trying to get pregnant. We decided that we didn’t care if I got pregnant before we got married because we were already living together for almost 2 years, engaged and together for almost 6 years at the time so we started early expecting it to take us at least 6 months to finally get pregnant. I mentioned to my doctor at shortly after 6 months that I worried something was wrong and we were told not to worry, we’re young, we have plenty of time to get pregnant. When I pushed again, he told me to wait until we’d been trying actively for 1 year. When I returned after the year wait, he started running tests. We found out after we were both tested that our cause of infertility was Male Factor Infertility. We finally got our doctors to do what we wanted but it took us almost 3 years to get the referrals and tests sent to the right doctors. A week and a half ago, we met with the fertility clinic and got checked out by an urologist that specializes in Male Factor Infertility. We finally have some direction but may have to face very expensive fertility treatments to be able to have biological children.

Sadly, our story is not uncommon. Many of the 1-8 couples struggling with infertility are under the age of 35. I’m in groups where I am one of the older members at 29. And many of the people in the 35-40 age range group who are still seeking treatments have been seeking treatments for, in some cases, up to 5-10 years and many of these couples were told that they had plenty of years left before they would have to worry.


So, to wrap it up, all of this is just meant to make you aware. We don’t make cancer jokes or inappropriate comments in front of a person suffering from cancer. We don’t make dead people jokes or inappropriate comments at funerals. The point is, other conditions are generally given consideration when you talk about it and infertility is no different. It all comes down to the delivery and the sensitivity of the questions or statements. Silence is ok. Just saying, I’m sorry, I don't know what to say or do, or  I’m here if you need me can go so much further than these comments. We don’t want you to walk on eggshells, we just want you to be aware.

Questions? Comments? Please share.

Infertility 101: Your Introduction

My first public post will be a general introduction to infertility. Bust some myths, tell some truths. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to message me or leave me a comment. Otherwise, enjoy!!

Did you know that 1 in 8 couples of child bearing age will deal with some form of infertility?

If you decide to actively try getting pregnant, doctors will tell you that once you are off of birth control it should take no longer than 6 months to have your first pregnancy. If you are under the age of 35 and have been trying for over a year and are still not pregnant, you should see your doctor to be checked out for any abnormalities or any issues that may be causing infertility. If you are over 35 and trying to get pregnant for 6 or more months with no success, you should see your doctor. By visiting your doctor and having them run a couple of simple tests, they may find the cause of your infertility or direct you to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who can help.

Who It Affects…

Infertility does not just affect women. Infertility can be broken down into male infertility, female infertility, a combination of both or unexplained infertility.  Infertility is not “in the head” and in many cases, calming down or “relaxing” will have no effect on the couple and conceiving. In many cases, infertility could stem from childhood illnesses, cancer treatments, steroid use in medications such as puffers, gene issues or hormone levels. 

Educate Yourself…

Do you have irregular periods or have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or Endometriosis? Did you suffer from a childhood cancer, suffer from asthma and need to take puffers as a child? If you wish to have biological children and are still single, you should talk to your doctor or specialists about your options. Don't be afraid to get checked out! We check for AIDS, cancer, and other sicknesses so why not check the status of your fertility?  A bit of prep early on can save you and your spouse thousands of dollars down the road in expensive infertility treatments.

Canadian Facts…

Did you know that in Canada, our public health care refuses to cover infertility treatments? And most insurance companies refuse to cover anything related to infertility because they consider children to be a “lifestyle choice”. Yet our public health care covers other elective surgeries such as sex change operations. 

In Ontario, a small portion of your infertility costs will be covered by the government if you suffer from blocked fallopian tubes, but if you suffer from any other forms of infertility you are required to cover all of the costs associated with infertility out of pocket. 

The province of Quebec is the only province in Canada who will cover treatments. If you are a resident of Quebec, the province with cover 3 rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF) before you are expected to cover any costs associated to it. 

Why Should It Be Covered?...

Internationally, many countries cover infertility without batting so much as an eyelash. They also offer tax credits for couples going through the adoption process. Contact your local politician and ask them what their stance is on family and the family making process. Because if we don't tell the government that its important to us, they will never do anything to help couples struggling.

Statistics have shown that if fertility treatments were covered, it would actually save the government money in the health care sector. Many couples can only afford one try at IVF so many are willing to take the chance by implanting multiple embryos. By doing this, the chances are greater for multiple births. Multiple child pregnancies are considered high risk. High risk pregnancies put greater pressure on the services offered for pregnancy. High risk requires more blood work, ultra sounds and tests. It also results in more pre-term deliveries which means the children and mother require longer hospital stays, corrective surgeries, longer NICU stays and less open beds available to the public. If infertility treatments were covered, more rounds of IVF with just one embryo would mean lower chances of twins and triplets.

It’s All The Same, Right?...

No it’s not. Infertility is a broad diagnosis. Infertility can be broken down into these categories: 

Male Factor- This is a problem on the side of the male. Low sperm count, no sperm at all, or poor quality of the sperm present. And then of course you have the causes behind that: injuries stemming from childhood, cancer and chemo treatments, they were born that way, or chromosomal abnormalities. 

Female Factor- This is a problem with the female reproductive organs. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome where there are cysts growing on the ovaries that prevent proper cycles. Endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, premature ovarian failure or poor egg quality. Other causes could be cancer and chemo treatments. 

Repeat Pregnancy Loss- where the couple has no problems trying to conceive but have yet to have a pregnancy that doesn’t end via miscarriage or stillbirth. Sometimes there could be something male or female factor undiagnosed playing its part in this, but sometimes there is no cause for it.

Unexplained Infertility- both male and female have been checked out by specialists and nothing was found that caused the infertility. 

Of course, the last option could be a combination of any of the options above. A couple may not be able to get pregnant because of PCOS and a low sperm count.  Another option for infertility is also situational infertility. 

Situational infertility would be cases where there was no way for a natural conception could happen. GLBT who have decided to have kids have various options like surrogacy, sperm or egg donors or adoption. 

Breaking The Bank…

Health care and most insurance carries refuse to fund fertility treatments because they categorize the condition as a “lifestyle choice”. Because of this, many couples trying to conceive are faced with paying for very expensive privatized treatments out of pocket. 

Most fertility clinics, when referred, will first tell you that the moment your file is referred to them, everything becomes an out of pocket cost. As an example, I will provide a general outline of overlying costs for Chris and I to go fertility treatments at our closest fertility clinic (5 hours away):

1^st consultation: $165.00 – included meeting with Urologist to gather a detailed medical history, go over results from blood work and semen samples. 

Each follow up appointment: $75.00 (if not associated with an active treatment cycle)

Travel: $350.00 each trip for gas and food. We have an arrangement with family to stay with them during our trips. 

 IVF registration fee:  $250.00 

Medication needed for one (1) round of IVF: $3000.00 (not covered by medical insurance)

One (1) round of IVF: $8000.00 (not covered through MSI or insurance)

1 trip up for egg retrieval: $350.00

1 trip back up for the Embryo transfer (Approx. 5 days later if we have viable embryos to use in the transfer): $350.00

Depending on how many eggs they retrieve and how many embryos they successfully create, the remaining would need to be cryogenically frozen til we either used them or offered them up for embryo donation or donated to science. : $200.00 yearly storage fee. 

If the first round of IVF doesn’t work but we still have embryos left to use, we can use a frozen embryo transfer for $850.00 but that’s only if the embryos survive the thaw. 

This procedure is the only viable one for us because of the low sperm count. All this to put my egg and his sperm in a petri dish and hope that they take and if they do they put them back in me and hope for the best. 

If this does not work, we may have to go through another cycle of IVF. So another 8 grand for the procedure and another 3 grand for medication I would need to use again. Then we would have to move onto Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) where they actually take a sperm and physically insert it into the egg via a very small needle. And that’s not cheap either:  $1500.00 for just the ICSI on top of the 12 grand already needed for IVF.

See, it’s not cheap. And we are not made of money. To be able to do this, I will have to get a second job and bank all extra money from that job and any extra money from my normal pay to be able to afford one chance at this. 

And that concludes your introduction infertility. 

Questions?

It’s Almost National Infertility Awareness Week!

It’s almost National Infertility Awareness Week!

National Infertility Awareness Week is very important to me. Chris and I have been diagnosed with male factor infertility and have been trying actively for 3 years to get pregnant. Infertility is a topic that many feel should not be made public nor should it be talked about in a public setting. I strongly disagree with this mindset. I respect everyone for their view points on topics, but if you wish to be open about this topic, then you should be able to be open about it without any backlash. My reasonings are simple, if someone can openly talk about their pregnancies, share their birth stories or talk about any of the unpleasant sides of pregnancy and parenting from symptoms to poopy diapers, then we should also be able to talk about infertility and the inability to get and/or stay pregnant. 

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 22^nd to 28^th and the point of the week is to bring awareness to the struggles and costs (emotionally, physically and financially) associated with infertility. In honor of this week and my struggles as an infertile, I have decided to go public on facebook about our struggles and create and share this blog as a chance to inform family and friends of the hidden side of infertility and its effects on those that deal with it on a daily basis. 

So thank you for checking out the blog! Bookmark this blog and check back as I plan to have a series of posts about infertility. My goal was to have a themed post once a week about a common misconception of infertility. One post per week leading up to NIAW and one post a day during all of NIAW. I may post more than that, but right now this is my goal.  

Stick around and check it out!

Love and hugs, 

Kimberly